Just Got 2 Tell

Anything & Everything I Feel Compelled to Share with the World!

Surrounded but alone July 13, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 8:11 PM

Transferred from old blog “runners log 2010”

 

This entry is different than others I’ve written. Most of the time I already have the ending in mind, and it’s typically positive & uplifting. At the start of this one, I’m not even sure if I can spin it around to have an uplifting end. I am praying it will.

Why is it that so many times when I’m surrounded by the most people, these are the times when I feel the most alone? I don’t know really how to describe it. It doesn’t happen all the time, but this feeling I get surrounded not necessarily by a whole group of friends or a whole group of strangers, but surrounded by people who are just inconsiderate, always seeking the center of attention, putting others down for fun; it’s a feeling I would never even get if I spent a week without seeing another human being.

It’s times like these that make me want to close up to those around me, to not let people see who I really am. I did this in high school, and it wasn’t fun. It is not something I look forward to doing again. This feeling of being an outcast is much worse than just being alone. Being alone has an air of retreat and respite, something needed at certain intervals to recuperate or to get re-energized. Being alone is a personal choice that you make to separate yourself. Outcast is other people pushing you away, separating you from them without choice.

It’s like the teenager longing to be accepted by the cooler kids. They look up to them (to a certain extent, or for a certain time) hoping to be welcomed, instead he/she is made to feel less than worthy because of the way they dress, the way they look, or even the way they talk. It would be awesome if those problems went away as people grew older, but apparently at twenty-one they are still strong.

I know I shouldn’t let it bother me. I have great friends, those who know how to joke without being mean, those who know my quirks and personality and love it. I have awesome times with those friends, despite how different we are from each other. But we are told to love others, to love our neighbors in this world, no matter the differences. If only it was easier to convince those people of this command.

The only thing we have control over is our own reactions.

Lord, help me to remember to love others. Help me to remember that You love and accept me as I am, flaws and all. That You love even my accent.

This world rejected my Savior, I should count it a pleasure/honor to be rejected as well.

 

in god we trust July 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 8:24 PM

Transferred from old blog.

 

It’s written on our money. It’s something we constantly hear from other Christians, “just trust God, He’ll take care of you.” But how many times do we actually stop and think about what it means to trust in God. Merriam-Webster defines trust as an “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” It is also described as having confidence or faith in another.

As with most things trust is easier said than done. It’s all good and well to say we trust God, especially when things are going well. But when life turns sour, what is the first thing we tend to do? Do we freak out, cry, breakdown, go to mom, a friend? Or are we filled with peace and understanding, knowing that even though it didn’t turn out like we wanted it, that it will all be okay.

Last week while I was with my church’s youth group at Outdoor Mission Camp, we were asked what is a friend. The answers the youth gave went along the lines of, someone you can share everything with or tell everything to, and someone you can trust with everything. In John 15, Jesus calls us his friends, and says “Greater love has no one than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends.” That is what Christ did. We can call him friend, and part of what makes him a friend is trust.

But we can’t just say we trust Him and expect to have that peace and assurance. It’s more than that. We don’t just go up to a stranger, say “You’re my friend, I trust you.” In order to build that trust in a person you have to get to know them, learn about their character, their qualities, personality, and see them to be trustworthy. The same is true in building that trust in God. We have to get to know him, just as we would any other friend. We have to grow close to him, learn about his likes/dislikes, his past. We have to learn about how he has proven in the past to fulfill his promises.

Building trust is something that really takes a lifetime. But don’t give up. We are told to draw close to God and he will draw close to us. Seek him, stay in his word, and he will reveal himself to you.

 

Almost 23 & Single July 5, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 8:26 PM

Transferred from old blog

 

When we’re younger we develop so many ideas about how our life will be. Everyone creates a different future in their mind, but in some aspects they are still the same. I was talking to a friend the other night, and as usual our conversation turned to the topic of dating and marriage. I realized I had 4 weddings to attend just in the month of July. One I missed due to camp, two this weekend, and one at the end of the month. Though I’m thrilled for each couple getting married, three of them are younger than me, and something about that just seems unfair.

Somehow years ago, I formed this vision of my future. In that vision, well nothing else is the same as this reality. I had visions of foreign mission fields, or veterinary clinics, or working in a hospital. But the one thing that stayed the same in my visions no matter the occupation I dreamed of at the time, there was always a special guy, my prince charming, my husband in each. And for some reason, I had the idea that I would find him and be married by now, or if not now then soon.

Alas, earwax (always think earwax when I think ‘alas’). Seriously now, my birthday is around the corner, this Saturday, so what 5 days. I’m turning twenty-three, and for some reason it just feels like an old number. And I definitely never thought I would be twenty-three and single.

But God has other plans and He knows my heart. I’ve finally fine-tuned my Pandora to a pretty good reflection of my music tastes (I just really started trying to a few days ago so it’s not too hard to accomplish). Two, nope a third one is playing now, songs have played reminding me that “I’m Not Alone”, it’s okay to be “Single” just “Turn Around” God is right there waiting to love me.

I can be content; no, that’s not accurate. I can be happy and have joy and peace and patience being single now because I am not alone. Jesus tells me that if I remain/abide in Him then He will abide in me. Everything I long for in a boyfriend/husband—a friend, a confidant, a provider, someone to listen, someone to give me advice, someone to spend my life with, someone to watch the sunset with—I have it all and more in Jesus Christ.

“Quit over-thinking love, stop thinking that I’m not enough
’Cause you don’t need anything that you don’t have here with me”
tag from ”Turn Around” by Josh Wilson

 

What goes in is found out July 3, 2010

Filed under: Christianity,God,Jesus Christ,Love & Life,Spiritual Growth — Anna @ 8:27 PM

In today’s society we are so accustomed to always having so many electronics around us, from the television, the computer, the cell phone, iPods and mp3 players, video games, and the list goes on. I am as guilty as the next person. I have a hard time dealing with the silence that often accompanies the space when these items are not running.

This past week, Monday until today, I was privileged with the opportunity to be the female chaperone for the youth group from my church to their summer camp. We packed the church bus full and headed out to Maggie Valley, NC to Outdoor Mission Camp which is run by Ruffin and Jamie Shackleford, two amazing people with hearts for God’s creation and for reaching young people for Him. Even if you could find cell signal, we surrendered all phones and iPods for a respite, a retreat to search out God. It was hard for many, but not impossible. I missed talking with friends on the phone and online through FB chat, or whatever, but we survived.

And through it all I was reminded of a truth that affects my ability to live for God. There are many things that we surround ourselves with that are not good for us, things that hinder us from serving Him and growing in Him.

The key passage for the week was John 15:1-8. Jesus uses the metaphor of a vine. He is the vine and we are the branches. Verse 8 says “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

Recently, in the last few years, I’ve taken the hobby of flower gardening and helped my dad a little in the vegetable garden this year. I’ve learned a few things about how plants grow. Each type of plant needs a certain environment or it will not thrive and it will not produce flowers. It needs a specific amount of water, fertilizer, and light in order to achieve optimum growth.

We are the same way. Darkness is going to hinder our growth. Feeding our minds and hearts with things unpleasing to God is going to cause decay in our relationship with Him. And I speak completely from experience.

A while back I started listening more to secular music, bored with hearing the same songs over and over on Christian radio. I picked up and read a few more secular books than the Christian fiction I read growing up. I allowed myself to spend my free time on the computer, chatting with friends, watching movies or TV, instead of delving into my Bible like I knew I should.

Slowly but surely, I found my mind coming out with thoughts that shocked me more than I can say. Words I hate popped into my head and almost off my tongue before I could catch myself. My attitude towards certain things were not at all how it should. And it was because I was not feeding my soul properly. I gave it junk food, which is deceiving. It tastes good, feels good, but does not produce the results that healthy eating produces.

Several times throughout this past week a song kept coming to my head. Sung by Tal & Acacia.