Just Got 2 Tell

Anything & Everything I Feel Compelled to Share with the World!

God Is So Good! March 30, 2014

There are many places in the Psalms where the writer reflects or calls the audience to reflect and remember what the Lord has done.  Remembering is key to moving forward.  I know so many say not to look back on the past to leave it there and press onward.  Paul says, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on…” but there are still times, most especially in the Christian life when we should reflect on the past, with a focus on what our Father in heaven has done for us.  By remembering what He has already done for us and all the ways He has proven His love for us, His provision and protection, whatever challenge may lie ahead seems so much smaller and easier to conquer.  Sometimes it takes remembering what He has already accomplished in order to believe and trust what He will continue to work in our lives.

I am writing this post with these thoughts in mind.  I have shared in past posts about my fitness journey, It’s Just a Number, but I think I really have tried to avoid writing about the topic.  Maybe because part of me was still afraid that I would fail and have the condemning eyes of whoever reads this blog looking down on me.  Maybe because another part of me is still embarrassed over the fact of being overweight for so long, and I really think at least part of it is because I really don’t want anyone saying ‘hey look at what she did’.  I do NOT like being in the limelight.  Some attention is nice every once in a while, trust me no one likes to be ignored, but I can only take small doses.

Why am I going to write about it now?  For God’s glory, not my own.  He has given me this story in order to show His greatness and His power.  So read the following if you like, but know that I had little part it in all.  I merely followed where He led.

I have been overweight most of my life.  To put it this way, I have never been skinny, slender, trim, etc.  Words like thick, solid, and chunky were always more fitting.  I was never very athletic, preferring to read or watch TV.  There have been many failed attempts at losing weight.  In college I did well, instead of gaining the freshman-fifteen, I lost it.  But after graduation I fell back into old habits, and so the cycle kept going.

In 2011, I started having problems with my knees, clicking cartilage and pain with excessive use.  There’s no telling how many times I’ve scraped and banged up my knees over the years.  Add that to the abuse of carrying around 200+ pounds for too many years = mild osteoarthritis.

That truly was my wake-up call.  It wasn’t anything major or life threatening, but at the age of 24 wondering about if and when I may have to have knee replacement surgery down the road.  It was scary.  August 2012 I joined the gym.  I went.  A lot.  That September I sprained my ankle.  Satan wanted to deter me early on.  After two weeks, when I could go with a brace instead of a boot, I was back to the gym.

Made to Crave Devotional has been one of my favorites.  I had heard the phrase “we all have a God-shaped hole” before, but this book made it more real.  God created us with the ability to crave.  He gave us cravings and desires.  He made us so that we could not feel complete or satisfied on our own.  It is an inherent need for HIM.  Only the signals get mistranslated and we think we’re really craving food, relationships, other substances, money, things, etc.  What we really need/want is God.

This fitness journey has been different.  Even my attempts before my goal was rarely to “be skinny”.  Most of the time it was to be healthy, to be not fat.  This time I wanted to serve God, to love Him and worship Him by how I took care of this earthly vessel.  I remembered that this body is a gift from God, a precious gift.  It is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit, making my body a holy place.

How would we feel if someone filled our church building with trash and was never used for its intended purpose?

Taking care of my body is an act of worship. Not self-worship, a way to worship God, just as much as singing praise songs, sitting in church, and praying.  God wants everything we do to be an act of worship, a way of glorifying His name.

I think because of this attitude God has blessed me in this journey.  My knees still click, but there is rarely any pain.  My ankle is stronger than ever.  I have lost 63 pounds that I never want to see again.  It has not been easy.  I have failed in many ways.  God will pick you back up, but only if you’re willing.  He loves us too much to leave us where we are.  But we also have to want to move.

Praise God for helping me to be willing, for reminding me why I am doing this.

Exactly one year ago, I could only run 10 minutes before having to walk.  Yesterday I ran my first half-marathon, that’s 13.1 miles, in 2hours and 34minutes.


To God Be The Glory!!!

Left is from July 2012 on vacation to Niagara Falls.  Right is March 2014 before my half marathon.

Left is from July 2012 on vacation to Niagara Falls. Right is March 2014 before my half marathon.


The Temple Was Full January 20, 2014

Filed under: Christianity,God,Jesus Christ,Life,Spiritual Growth — Anna @ 12:40 PM

In church this past Sunday, the pastor spoke on 2 Chronicles 7. Verse 14 is fairly familiar, “If my people who are called by my name humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.” But that was not what the Lord impressed on me during the sermon. A Bible study group I’m a part of has been looking at idols, specifically going through Kelly Minter’s No Other Gods study. Chapter 7, verses 19 stuck out. “But if you turn aside and forsake my statutes and my commandments that I have set before you, and go and serve other gods and worship them …verse 22 “Therefore he has brought all this disaster on them.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like disaster. It’s no fun. I certainly don’t want Him to bring disaster on me. It’s one thing to go through hard times to grow in my walk with Him, but to have disaster brought on me. That’s a lot scarier. I think I like an earlier picture better. 2 Chronicles 7:1-2 (this is right after Solomon’s prayer of dedication over the temple) As soon as Solomon finished his prayer fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices and the glory of the Lord filled the temple. And the priests could not enter the house of the Lord, because the glory of the Lord filled the Lord’s house.

Read that again.  The glory of the Lord filled the temple. It was filled so much by that glory that the priests could not enter it. Not they did not enter but they could not. Now I’m not a theologist, I haven’t studied Greek or Aramaic, so don’t quote me on this. But what if it wasn’t just that the glory of the Lord was such an overwhelming force that the priests did not feel worthy of entering or were afraid they might die if they entered? Scripture it said they couldn’t enter. They couldn’t physically enter the temple. What if the glory of the Lord filled the temple in such a way that there was no physical room for anything or anyone else to coexist with His glory?

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19.  The temple is no longer just a building. It is the body of Christ, it is the body of believers. He no longer dwells only in the Holy of Holies. He dwells within each of our hearts.

What if His temple, our bodies, our lives were so filled with the glory of the Lord that nothing else could enter?

What if our hearts were so filled with His glory that there was no room for any false gods?

What would our lives look like? What would this world look like?


Save Me, Lord January 10, 2014

I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me.

Save me, O Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues

Psalm 120:1-2

I happened upon this verse this morning in my devotionals. It wasn’t what was in the study for me to read. It wasn’t even the verse I flipped to that page for, but it most definitely stuck out to me, not like a sore thumb, more like a lifesaver in a turbulent sea. I was actually looking for Psalm 121: I lift my eyes into the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. I always sing this because Casting Crowns used the verse in the song, “Praise You In This Storm“. Truth be told, and you may have noticed, I typically have some song running through my head and/or many phrases or lines in a conversation may lead to me randomly breaking out into song. It all connects in my head.

I know I’ve read this verse, and there are many others similar. The Bible is filled with instances of calling out to God for help and Him answering our pleas. The Psalms speak often about the trouble with lying tongues. Lies are spoken and are fatal. The serpent’s deceitfulness led to death entering this world. But today that lying tongue hit quite a bit closer to home, more personal.

It’s not that I am finding that I have a problem lying to others, but my tongue is a liar. It lies to my head and my stomach. It tells my stomach it needs to growl that I’m hungry and need food, that I need chocolate or something sweet. That deceitful tongue decides that when I wake up in the middle of the night (for whatever reason) and it’s been hours since I ate that I need to eat something while I’m up.

The tongue is deceitful, I know that full well. And I am weak, giving into its cravings on a regular basis, even a year and a half into this health journey. Sometimes it’s like I should be beyond this now. I’ve been choosing salads over pizza for over a year; I should be able to resist the demands of my tastebuds.

James warns of the devestation that the tongue is capable of. The tongue is also a fire…It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire…No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:6-8) I know and understand that the intent of both passages are about the words we speak, but as the new year begins and I am already struggling with getting back on track after the holidays, I can’t help but see how this relates.

One of my toughest issues, biggest addictions, even idol is my tongue, giving into its cravings and eating what I know I shouldn’t. Romans 7:19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. And yes, I consider these bad eating habits evil, for they do not take care of God’s temple, my body. So, thus I feel as though I am continuing to strive to tame my tongue, to teach it to crave different foods. Sometimes it works. I’m good never having another fry from McDonalds. Bojangles may be another story, but I was there Sunday and resisted, enjoying every bite of my larabar. Sometimes it does not. James says that no man can tame the tongue. But I am woman, hear me roar. No, that won’t work either. So what then am I to do? With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible–Matthew 19:26. About this verse, Lysa Terkeurst says in Made To Crave: devotional “With human effort alone, it can seem impossible to deny yourself. With human effort alone, it can seem impossible to make sacrifices. With human effort alone, it can seem impossible to have self-control. But with God, all sacrificial things are possible. With God, all self-control is possible.”

I’ve turned my closet door into a motivational door, full of quotes and workout ideas, my running schedule, upcoming races. It’s time I actually started getting some of that stuff off of the door and into my mind. If only I could stay in my room all day looking at it and remembering what I need to do, but I have to go out into the world, and I cannot be like the man who looks at his face in a mirror and after goes away and forgets what he looks like. I have to remember their wisdom in the heat of the battle, in the kitchen, at work, whenever my tongue starts going behind my back to conspire with my stomach.

Enough is enough.

I know I will continue to fail, but I will call on the Lord in my distress, and He will answer. My help comes from the Lord. He will not let my foot slip. He has good plans for me, plans to prosper me and give me a future.


Beware the Pedestal January 2, 2014

Duck Dynasty’s Robertson family have definitely become a household name recently. My family watches the show at least once a week, even if we’ve seen the episode multiple times already. I have to say when I first heard of the show, I wasn’t too impressed. I really just put them in the category of all the other redneck reality shows the networks have been pushing. I admit I judged them by the cover. Then K-Love started talking about them and about their faith.

Duck Dynasty Teens, pic taken from Winterfest website

Moving in with my parents, the cover of the Robertson book was thrown open, and I ran to catch the bandwagon that had driven past. I was impressed by their faith and the ways they have stood by their faith despite the media pressures to be politically correct or edgy or whatever.

As I mentioned in my last post, I and a friend of mine went to Winterfest, two nights of concerts to bring in the new year. The entire thing started with a Q & A session with Sadie, John Luke, Cole, and Reed Robertson. They were real. They shared their faith, favorite verses, but at no point did it seem like they were doing it because it was expected of them. They didn’t give church answers; they shared from their heart. They had taken the examples of Mamaw Kay & Papaw Phil, as well as their parents, and made their family’s faith their own.

Now another thing I noticed at Winterfest was the serious fan club that surround these guys and Sadie. The two girls sitting in front of us during the concert had gotten up. I didn’t pay any attention to their departure, but they returned giggly and excited, telling the rest of their group, “I’m never washing this hand again. I shook hands with John Luke.”

I just want to encourage everyone to watch out for this attitude. Yes, these guys are, and this family is, worth admiring. But do not place them on a pedestal. They are pretty awesome people. They live out their faith, just as each of us are called to do. And they have been blessed because of that. But it’s very easy to fall into people worship, praising humans for the great things they do rather than their Maker who gives them to gifts and talents to do those things.

I found myself following that trail this morning. I was thinking along the lines of “how awesome of John Luke to be able to stand in front of thousands, telling them to get quiet, this is serious stuff, and share his heart and his faith. I wish I could be like that.” God quickly reminded me that I could be like that, that I have exhibited those same qualities, that I have stood boldly before others and shared my beliefs even when I knew they were contrary to popular opinion. I did not have the opportunity to stand before thousands and share those beliefs, but I did not flinch from the audience I did have.

That should be in the front of all of our minds. We admire the Robertson’s for standing strong and using Duck Dynasty and the opportunities that have arisen because of it as a witness to millions, but we are each given just as important of an audience, an audience that needs us to be strong in our faith, to be real.

So even while we get excited about getting to see or hear them speak, we need to pay a lot more attention to their message and remember we serve the same God, and we are loved equally (unconditionally) by that God, none of us are better or worse.


Another note: this same thing applies to any Christian speaker, writer, artist, performer. They do great things, but so can we because the same God is at work in all of us.


Run November 2, 2013

Filed under: Christianity,Comfort,Friends,God,Jesus Christ,Spiritual Growth — Anna @ 11:29 PM

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”  Hebrew 12:1b

The verse has so much meaning to me, especially lately.  Of course its true meaning is the race of life and the course God has set for us. Let us not give up because things in life happen that are tough or hard to go through. But as a runner (I run, so that is what I am. Add that to the other hats I wear.), it is so much more real to me. Perseverance and endurance means running through the rain, the mud, the dark, the hot, the cold. It means not giving up just because it’s a monster hill or staying inside because you’re feeling tired, the true word for that is spelled L-A-Z-Y, LAAYZZEE!!

We often do that with life. We give up on relationships because we’re tired of working at it or because we’re tired of this or tired of that. We didn’t know that friendship or that relationship would be so hard to maintain. God never said it would be easy. Now my head starts singing the song. Remember, the devil is a roaring lion trying to devour us. His way of devouring us might not be killing us. Honestly, I really think Satan’s favorite way of destroying Christians and roadblocking our work for Christ, is by making us feel tired. We have a tendency to get selfish in that tiredness and think someone else needs to take up the load we feel like we’ve been carrying. We pull out of things because it’s too much, we’re doing too much. We let friendships fall to the side, because we’re tired of always being the one to call or make things work. But what we don’t always realize is how much God wants us to be involved.

Let us not run away. Let us run the race marked for us, and run it with endurance. Because what’s waiting at the finish is so much better than anything they got up there. Under the sea… so much better than anything that we could try to plan for ourselves.

It’s going to be hard. We’re going to want to give up. Trudging and crawling through thick, goopy, suction cup-like mud today was hard, and I really didn’t know if I could take one more mud pit. That last one was tougher than any of the other obstacles throughout the whole race. I didn’t think I could do it, but I knew that finish line was just around the corner. All I had to do was make it to out of the mud and it was in the bag.

Keep going. Never give up!

DSCF3841                DSCF3842
DSCF3843                   DirtyDanDash 1


Perspective October 19, 2013

Honestly, so much has been running through my mind this past week, things I would like to blog about or on, but I’ve kinda been busy and haven’t had much time to blog lately. I guess it’s like most everything else in life, it’s not about finding time it’s about making time. But now that I am sitting here blogging, the question is what do I write about first. I find myself wanting to talk about how weird I feel using the word blog as a verb, but I’ll refrain as there’s no lasting value there.

I actually started writing this post with a different aim, but after the events of this evening, I felt just a bit more compelled to talk about perspective.  It’s actually been on my mind for a while. It was even something one of my focuses when speaking to teen girls last month. But in the last week, God’s given a new realization of it, and after watching Soul Surfer tonight with a group of beautiful young ladies, Perspective shouted out at me once again. So I’m pretty sure I should stop avoiding the topic and just hash it all out for all to read.

Perspective is individual. We all have our own take on everything. It’s something I try to teach my students. When there is a problem I always want to hear from all involved. Each story has two (or more) sides, those sides are perspectives. Perspectives can also often be limited to what we can see, to how we are looking, how we are feeling, etc.

The event I spoke at in September, held for teen girls, focus was be-you-tiful. It wasn’t just about finding beauty but on being you, the person you are. Speaking as a female, we as a gender have trouble finding beauty in ourselves. I’m still not sure how or when it started, but we are very self-critical and can rattle off a whole list of things that make us anything but beautiful. But it’s due to our perspective.

The Bible is filled with verses that speak of our beauty, as a daughter of the King, so if I believe the Bible is the Spirit-breathed Word of God, then I have to believe that I am beautiful, even if I don’t always feel it.

Last year, after reading Stasi & John Eldredge’s Captivating, I began to pray for Jesus to show me my beauty, for Him to help me to see myself the way that He sees me. And He has. He’s done it in little ways over the year, revealed things about my character, my body that previously I had seen negatively.

Somehow it really seems to have culminated recently. It’s like all of a sudden I see myself so much differently. I’m also realizing that certain people have been telling the truth for years, even though I didn’t believe them. For instance the boldness I spoke of in It’s Finally Happened.

My best friend in the world lives all the way on the other side of the country. Bummer, I know. But we keep connected with 3 to 8 page emails, and I still have one she sent me detailing things I had done that she saw as bold and brave and courageous, no matter how meek, timid, and shy I feel I am. Perspective. Those things she mentioned such as spending a summer serving God in South Carolina and again in Texas, I had never seen them as bold. To me they were just the natural course of action for what God had told me to do. When I went to Guatemala in March of this year, so many thanked me for being brave enough to fly to far from home. It wasn’t scary. I didn’t feel courageous doing it. It was what I was supposed to do.

Now I see that what I have seen as ordinary things, others see as something so much different.

So I pose this question for you to ponder. How accurate is your perspective?


I Left My Heart In Guatemala, Part I March 19, 2013

So, I had every intention of  updating this blog before I left for my six day trip to Guatemala, had wanted to make it somewhat of a series.  A before and after kinda thing, but so much to do in so little time, and the blog became the last thing on my mind as the clock was ticking down.

I had been waiting for this chance for years, the chance to go to Guatemala on a missions trip. It’s a hard thing to explain, but I do know it’s a God-thing for sure. In high school I felt God calling me into missions, definitely a push towards more missions even as a student, but also towards foreign missions career. I don’t know if it was because of my intensity for studying Spanish in high school, but Guatemala somehow planted itself in my mind.  The idea of serving as a career missionary in a Guatemalan orphanage kept sticking in my head. By high school graduation that was the 20 year plan for my life: attend & graduate from Liberty University, meet Mr. Right, mission field to Guatemala.

Life never happens as we expect it to. I’m still single, and have yet to go out of the country on missions for longer than a week. I’m not saying God changed His mind about what I should do, or that I misinterpreted Him. Nope, I’m afraid to say that I chickened out. It probably wasn’t the type of cowardice normal people would expect me to have had, like afraid of being away from home, family, friends for so long, afraid of dangers in the foreign country. It was more of a fear of fundraising. I don’t know why, but I don’t like having to ask others for thing. I’m “Miss Independent, Miss Self-sufficient” (Kelly Clarkson). I guess it’s a pride thing, but I think I’ve come to see it as a self-worth thing as well, not seeing myself as important enough to warrant the giving of others. Anyway, God’s working on me with that. But long story short, I chickened out of an opportunity to go on missions to Guatemala and learn Spanish through immersion for a summer, and took the easier challenge of Summer Internship at the daycare I was already working at. Which probably started the chain of events and choices that led me to where I am now: lead teacher of an NC-PreK classroom, working to earn my B-K teaching license, etc.

But Guatemala has never been far from my mind, no matter what I’ve been doing, where I’ve lived, etc. I often think about it, pray for the nation as a whole, for the people, and specifically for its children. For the last year I’ve sponsored a little girl from Guatemala through World Help. And last March, while looking on World Help’s website, I found information about how to GO, a trip in March 2013.

Fundraising didn’t scare me as bad, but still there’s the whole “everyone’s always asking for support for this or that, they might not want to or be able to give to this” But I did it. I faced the fear and pushed through to the other side and was immensely blessed even before flying out of the country. Never did I expect to receive the support that I did, the care, encouragement, and prayers.

I’ll be updating again to share about everything that happened during the week. So stay tuned.

<>< Anna


Proverb 31 Woman, who could possibly be? January 2, 2013

Filed under: Christianity,God,Jesus Christ,Love & Life,Spiritual Growth — Anna @ 11:15 PM

Let’s see if I can get something coherent from my minds ramblings. Sometimes when I’m thinking on something, something I’m not so sure of, or not certain how to interpret, understanding sometimes just washes over without being in clear words or coherent paragraphs. Trying to get a handle on the Proverbs 31.

This woman described in Proverbs 31 is busy, from pre-dawn to most likely post-dusk. We know she sleeps at some point, as it says “she rises early” thus she got a few winks of sleep. She buys land, plants vineyards, makes clothing, cooks for her family, gives to the needy, etc. She does SO much. But I think it’s also important to look at what she doesn’t do or doesn’t have in order to see the correct context.

She didn’t have TV, cable/satellite, movies, computers, internet, sports, team practices, phones (much less cell phones), or books. Now please do not think I am trying to suggest throwing these things out and living a simplistic lifestyle. There are good and bad things with each of these advances in society, but think of the time each of them take up. How many TV shows and movies do we get caught up in? How long do we spend chatting, emailing, browsing facebook? How long are we on the road traveling each day?

This woman would have most likely traveled by food, therefore never traversed as many miles as we trek daily in our SUVs and compact cars.

There were no books. Scriptures and other writing was done on scrolls. These were not available in every home. There were no weekly Women’s Bible studies. No Beth Moore, Angela Thomas, Kelly Minter, or any of those. She wouldn’t have spent the time that we do, or are told we should in personal Bible study. I’m not saying she didn’t have quiet times, or prayer time with God (though it’s not explicitly stated And which do you think is more important, studying God’s Word or making a dress?).

She wasn’t concerned about foreign affairs, missions in lands she’d never go to. She didn’t worry about the rising gas prices, health insurance, college tuition. She wasn’t able to encourage a friend living 3,000miles away or pray for people/situations outside of her immediate circle.

It seems like she does so much and yes she does. But what do you do? Everyone of us do a lot. We live in a busy an hectic world. We are constantly pulled in multiple directions, our attention needed by work, friends, family, spouse, children. We wake with ‘to do’ lists running through our head and probably never make it to bed with those lists completed. We read Proverbs 31 and think “wow this woman had it all together” and don’t you think that’s exactly what Satan wants us to think?

Isn’t it just like us as women to get a glimpse at another woman’s life and think she’s so much better than us? Our own insecurities and failures keep us down so much, we forget that the other woman and ourselves are equally and immensely loved by the same God, no matter what our lives look like.

How much do you want to bet that if she actually existed that Proverbs 31 Woman would have thought she was failing drastically in some aspect of her life (if not many other areas)? I think that’s in our nature, to always be striving for more. In a way I know that’s how God made us. He wants us to strive for more. More of Him. He wants us to want more of Him. We are imperfect people in an imperfect world, loved by a perfect God who tells us ‘be holy for I am holy’, who calls us to follow Him. Therefore we strive to do more, to be better.

We can and we should aim to be better, but we will never attain perfection. Not in this lifetime.


Embarrassment October 6, 2012

Filed under: God,Love & Life,Spiritual Growth — Anna @ 10:44 AM

After a particularly embarrassing snafu I made recently, I found myself wondering about that particular emotion. What is the purpose of embarrassment? Why does it come with that strong desire to run and hide from everything & everyone? Being a preschool teacher, one of my hugest responsibilities is to teach young children about emotions and also how to manage them. Yes, I feel this is even more important than learning their ABCs, 123s, and how to read or write. My first goal is to make learning fun, to inspire a love for learning, but my second goal is social skills. If a child is unable to appropriately deal with his anger, he’s going to miss a lot of learning time, not only that but he’s also probably going to have problems making friends. And everyone knows that school is no fun when you have no friends; thus he’s going to hate school (yes it’s a strong word, but very appropriate) and hate learning, and when you have an attitude like that your course is set for failure.

So all of that to say that we recently explored feelings in my classroom, and whenever we do that I analyze the subject deeper than the children can quite understand. I’ve got to get out of the vagueness that we typically define emotions as and find something concrete for the four-year-olds to understand.

And now I was thinking about embarrassment. Well the answer to my question came just this past week. Embarrassment can be is humbling. That I do know. Embarrassment usually comes after being wrong or doing something wrong or the wrong way. It’s not just after a mistake, but after you really thought you were right and also when someone points it out to you that you were wrong or the mistake was done in front of others.

Not everyone experiences embarrassment to the same degree, and of course mistakes themselves vary in degrees as well. It is my belief that those who struggle with perfectionism and also pride (anyone who does struggle with ‘have to be right, have to be perfect’, also has a pride issues, it’s just a given), these people have the worst time with embarrassment. Insert me into the picture. God is working with me on this, but it’s a long battle.

What to do about embarrassment? Learn. Learn that it’s not the end of the world. Learn that mistakes happen; no one is perfect. Let me repeat that: NO ONE IS PERFECT (except of course Jesus Christ).

One of my more embarrassing moments of middle school was tripping over the metal track in a door frame and falling flat on my face. Not that one was not just embarrassing, but when all those around me laughed, was made humiliating as well. I was the smart kid, the good, well-behaved, star student. I didn’t fail. And failing to walk properly did not work for me and perfectionist mindset. I still remember my face getting tomato-red and walking the rest of the way to class with my head hung low.

Fast forward twelve years. People in my life are not as mean now. Sure the world is full of mean people, but we’re not forced to share the same space anymore, not like we were all required to go to school. So when my feet/body/ankle recently forgot how to walk, humiliation was not a factor in my emotions.

The concern and compassion of those around me when I fell shouldn’t’ve surprised me, as I was at church (We as Christ-followers should have compassion on others, as Christ had compassion on others). But still, I’m used to showing kindness to others and giving help. It’s an entirely different thing to be on the receiving end.

It’s humbling to have to rely on others to get the car, or to get inside the house, etc. Embarrassing? Yes, especially if you pride yourself on your independence, on taking care of yourself. But it’s better when you can make light of it and laugh about it. I’m sure those in the emergency care waiting room thought I was crazy or doped up on pain killers as giggly as I was hopping in there Sunday morning & leaning on mom for support. But better laughter than tears.

For anyone struggling with embarrassment (I’m probably writing this more for myself than anyone else), remember it’s going to be okay. Mistakes are part of life: forgive, forget or learn from, and move on. Don’t dwell on your past mistakes. Don’t allow Satan to keep bringing them up just so you’ll feel horrible and miserable. One last thing:

Don’t take yourself too seriously, no one else does.


Time Flies When You’re Having Fun May 20, 2012

Truthfully, time flies no matter what, except when you’re waiting. When you’re waiting, time creeps. It’s true no matter what you’re waiting for, water to boil, the microwave to finish heating up your lunch, a doctor’s appointment, to move, a new job, Mr. Right to come into your life. But there’s one thing I’ve learned about waiting. When you’re waiting, you’re not doing anything, just waiting. You may be sitting or pacing. Or in the case of moving, a new job or Mr. Right, you may be going through life, but your mind is preoccupied by what is to come. For a long time that is what I’ve been doing, mainly in the case of Mr. Right. I know in my head that God will bring him along in His timing, and for the most part I believe in my heart that His timing is perfect. But that doesn’t stop me from that longing to be married and have my own family.

So would you like to know the remedy for waiting and that annoying fact that time slows down when you’re watching. Do Something. It’s that simple. When you’re busy doing things you enjoy, you don’t realize how fast the time goes. For instance at the doctor’s office? Bring along a good book, or there’s of course your smartphone fully equipped with ever-addicting games like Words with Friends & Angry Birds. In December my best friend bought her first house, and it was decided that we’d be housemates, only we weren’t moving in until June. Okay, so that’s a pretty long time. In the meantime, I’ve seriously been crazy busy with work, school, church, to boil it all down: I’ve been busy living. And now, we’re counting down the days. Everything is falling into place, and I can’t believe June is almost here. I also cannot believe the first class that I was the lead teacher of is about to graduate in less than two weeks.

I still haven’t been able to prove that it works with Mr. Right. But this I do know. God never intended for us to sit around waiting on Him to move. He never intended for us to sit around and watch life go by. He wants us to live, to have life to the fullest.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. —  John 10:10

Take this to heart. If you’re sitting around waiting on something to happen to your life, then you’re missing how God wants to change your life and how He wants to use you to change your world.