Just Got 2 Tell

Anything & Everything I Feel Compelled to Share with the World!

God Is So Good! March 30, 2014

There are many places in the Psalms where the writer reflects or calls the audience to reflect and remember what the Lord has done.  Remembering is key to moving forward.  I know so many say not to look back on the past to leave it there and press onward.  Paul says, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on…” but there are still times, most especially in the Christian life when we should reflect on the past, with a focus on what our Father in heaven has done for us.  By remembering what He has already done for us and all the ways He has proven His love for us, His provision and protection, whatever challenge may lie ahead seems so much smaller and easier to conquer.  Sometimes it takes remembering what He has already accomplished in order to believe and trust what He will continue to work in our lives.

I am writing this post with these thoughts in mind.  I have shared in past posts about my fitness journey, It’s Just a Number, but I think I really have tried to avoid writing about the topic.  Maybe because part of me was still afraid that I would fail and have the condemning eyes of whoever reads this blog looking down on me.  Maybe because another part of me is still embarrassed over the fact of being overweight for so long, and I really think at least part of it is because I really don’t want anyone saying ‘hey look at what she did’.  I do NOT like being in the limelight.  Some attention is nice every once in a while, trust me no one likes to be ignored, but I can only take small doses.

Why am I going to write about it now?  For God’s glory, not my own.  He has given me this story in order to show His greatness and His power.  So read the following if you like, but know that I had little part it in all.  I merely followed where He led.

I have been overweight most of my life.  To put it this way, I have never been skinny, slender, trim, etc.  Words like thick, solid, and chunky were always more fitting.  I was never very athletic, preferring to read or watch TV.  There have been many failed attempts at losing weight.  In college I did well, instead of gaining the freshman-fifteen, I lost it.  But after graduation I fell back into old habits, and so the cycle kept going.

In 2011, I started having problems with my knees, clicking cartilage and pain with excessive use.  There’s no telling how many times I’ve scraped and banged up my knees over the years.  Add that to the abuse of carrying around 200+ pounds for too many years = mild osteoarthritis.

That truly was my wake-up call.  It wasn’t anything major or life threatening, but at the age of 24 wondering about if and when I may have to have knee replacement surgery down the road.  It was scary.  August 2012 I joined the gym.  I went.  A lot.  That September I sprained my ankle.  Satan wanted to deter me early on.  After two weeks, when I could go with a brace instead of a boot, I was back to the gym.

Made to Crave Devotional has been one of my favorites.  I had heard the phrase “we all have a God-shaped hole” before, but this book made it more real.  God created us with the ability to crave.  He gave us cravings and desires.  He made us so that we could not feel complete or satisfied on our own.  It is an inherent need for HIM.  Only the signals get mistranslated and we think we’re really craving food, relationships, other substances, money, things, etc.  What we really need/want is God.

This fitness journey has been different.  Even my attempts before my goal was rarely to “be skinny”.  Most of the time it was to be healthy, to be not fat.  This time I wanted to serve God, to love Him and worship Him by how I took care of this earthly vessel.  I remembered that this body is a gift from God, a precious gift.  It is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit, making my body a holy place.

How would we feel if someone filled our church building with trash and was never used for its intended purpose?

Taking care of my body is an act of worship. Not self-worship, a way to worship God, just as much as singing praise songs, sitting in church, and praying.  God wants everything we do to be an act of worship, a way of glorifying His name.

I think because of this attitude God has blessed me in this journey.  My knees still click, but there is rarely any pain.  My ankle is stronger than ever.  I have lost 63 pounds that I never want to see again.  It has not been easy.  I have failed in many ways.  God will pick you back up, but only if you’re willing.  He loves us too much to leave us where we are.  But we also have to want to move.

Praise God for helping me to be willing, for reminding me why I am doing this.

Exactly one year ago, I could only run 10 minutes before having to walk.  Yesterday I ran my first half-marathon, that’s 13.1 miles, in 2hours and 34minutes.

 

To God Be The Glory!!!

Left is from July 2012 on vacation to Niagara Falls.  Right is March 2014 before my half marathon.

Left is from July 2012 on vacation to Niagara Falls. Right is March 2014 before my half marathon.

 

Save Me, Lord January 10, 2014

I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me.

Save me, O Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues

Psalm 120:1-2

I happened upon this verse this morning in my devotionals. It wasn’t what was in the study for me to read. It wasn’t even the verse I flipped to that page for, but it most definitely stuck out to me, not like a sore thumb, more like a lifesaver in a turbulent sea. I was actually looking for Psalm 121: I lift my eyes into the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. I always sing this because Casting Crowns used the verse in the song, “Praise You In This Storm“. Truth be told, and you may have noticed, I typically have some song running through my head and/or many phrases or lines in a conversation may lead to me randomly breaking out into song. It all connects in my head.

I know I’ve read this verse, and there are many others similar. The Bible is filled with instances of calling out to God for help and Him answering our pleas. The Psalms speak often about the trouble with lying tongues. Lies are spoken and are fatal. The serpent’s deceitfulness led to death entering this world. But today that lying tongue hit quite a bit closer to home, more personal.

It’s not that I am finding that I have a problem lying to others, but my tongue is a liar. It lies to my head and my stomach. It tells my stomach it needs to growl that I’m hungry and need food, that I need chocolate or something sweet. That deceitful tongue decides that when I wake up in the middle of the night (for whatever reason) and it’s been hours since I ate that I need to eat something while I’m up.

The tongue is deceitful, I know that full well. And I am weak, giving into its cravings on a regular basis, even a year and a half into this health journey. Sometimes it’s like I should be beyond this now. I’ve been choosing salads over pizza for over a year; I should be able to resist the demands of my tastebuds.

James warns of the devestation that the tongue is capable of. The tongue is also a fire…It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire…No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:6-8) I know and understand that the intent of both passages are about the words we speak, but as the new year begins and I am already struggling with getting back on track after the holidays, I can’t help but see how this relates.

One of my toughest issues, biggest addictions, even idol is my tongue, giving into its cravings and eating what I know I shouldn’t. Romans 7:19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. And yes, I consider these bad eating habits evil, for they do not take care of God’s temple, my body. So, thus I feel as though I am continuing to strive to tame my tongue, to teach it to crave different foods. Sometimes it works. I’m good never having another fry from McDonalds. Bojangles may be another story, but I was there Sunday and resisted, enjoying every bite of my larabar. Sometimes it does not. James says that no man can tame the tongue. But I am woman, hear me roar. No, that won’t work either. So what then am I to do? With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible–Matthew 19:26. About this verse, Lysa Terkeurst says in Made To Crave: devotional “With human effort alone, it can seem impossible to deny yourself. With human effort alone, it can seem impossible to make sacrifices. With human effort alone, it can seem impossible to have self-control. But with God, all sacrificial things are possible. With God, all self-control is possible.”

I’ve turned my closet door into a motivational door, full of quotes and workout ideas, my running schedule, upcoming races. It’s time I actually started getting some of that stuff off of the door and into my mind. If only I could stay in my room all day looking at it and remembering what I need to do, but I have to go out into the world, and I cannot be like the man who looks at his face in a mirror and after goes away and forgets what he looks like. I have to remember their wisdom in the heat of the battle, in the kitchen, at work, whenever my tongue starts going behind my back to conspire with my stomach.

Enough is enough.

I know I will continue to fail, but I will call on the Lord in my distress, and He will answer. My help comes from the Lord. He will not let my foot slip. He has good plans for me, plans to prosper me and give me a future.

 

Perspective October 19, 2013

Honestly, so much has been running through my mind this past week, things I would like to blog about or on, but I’ve kinda been busy and haven’t had much time to blog lately. I guess it’s like most everything else in life, it’s not about finding time it’s about making time. But now that I am sitting here blogging, the question is what do I write about first. I find myself wanting to talk about how weird I feel using the word blog as a verb, but I’ll refrain as there’s no lasting value there.

I actually started writing this post with a different aim, but after the events of this evening, I felt just a bit more compelled to talk about perspective.  It’s actually been on my mind for a while. It was even something one of my focuses when speaking to teen girls last month. But in the last week, God’s given a new realization of it, and after watching Soul Surfer tonight with a group of beautiful young ladies, Perspective shouted out at me once again. So I’m pretty sure I should stop avoiding the topic and just hash it all out for all to read.

Perspective is individual. We all have our own take on everything. It’s something I try to teach my students. When there is a problem I always want to hear from all involved. Each story has two (or more) sides, those sides are perspectives. Perspectives can also often be limited to what we can see, to how we are looking, how we are feeling, etc.

The event I spoke at in September, held for teen girls, focus was be-you-tiful. It wasn’t just about finding beauty but on being you, the person you are. Speaking as a female, we as a gender have trouble finding beauty in ourselves. I’m still not sure how or when it started, but we are very self-critical and can rattle off a whole list of things that make us anything but beautiful. But it’s due to our perspective.

The Bible is filled with verses that speak of our beauty, as a daughter of the King, so if I believe the Bible is the Spirit-breathed Word of God, then I have to believe that I am beautiful, even if I don’t always feel it.

Last year, after reading Stasi & John Eldredge’s Captivating, I began to pray for Jesus to show me my beauty, for Him to help me to see myself the way that He sees me. And He has. He’s done it in little ways over the year, revealed things about my character, my body that previously I had seen negatively.

Somehow it really seems to have culminated recently. It’s like all of a sudden I see myself so much differently. I’m also realizing that certain people have been telling the truth for years, even though I didn’t believe them. For instance the boldness I spoke of in It’s Finally Happened.

My best friend in the world lives all the way on the other side of the country. Bummer, I know. But we keep connected with 3 to 8 page emails, and I still have one she sent me detailing things I had done that she saw as bold and brave and courageous, no matter how meek, timid, and shy I feel I am. Perspective. Those things she mentioned such as spending a summer serving God in South Carolina and again in Texas, I had never seen them as bold. To me they were just the natural course of action for what God had told me to do. When I went to Guatemala in March of this year, so many thanked me for being brave enough to fly to far from home. It wasn’t scary. I didn’t feel courageous doing it. It was what I was supposed to do.

Now I see that what I have seen as ordinary things, others see as something so much different.

So I pose this question for you to ponder. How accurate is your perspective?

 

It’s Finally Happened October 17, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 11:07 PM
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Have I really become that person? I can hardly believe it. As meek & shy as I’ve always considered myself , to have actually become like her. Her?  Who’s this person I’m comparing myself to?

Oddly enough, I remember her clearly as if it were yesterday and not over eight years ago. A senior in high school doing the wildest thing of my youth. I was an hour & a half away from home with 2 of my best friends for Christian concert. No parents or trustworthy adult chaperones. It felt awesome. Looking back on it, I can hardly believe our parents let us do it and can think of many who would never allow their child to do anything similar. But really, what trouble would I have looked for? God had a strong hold of me even then. We had floor seats, were in the second row. I remember being semi-deaf afterwards, and kinda hoarse, too. Hawk Nelson, Kutless, Audio Adrenaline!!!! The music was awesome! But more than that, I remember one particular concert-goer.

She was just catty-corner to us, also on the floor, but stood away from the chairs. I never noticed her talking with anyone else, to all appearances she’d come alone, and honestly I could tell that to her, there might as well not be anyone else in the entire Vines Center. She rocked; she danced; she worshipped God, free and without a thought or concern for what anyone else may think of her. I remember then being impressed by her, wishing that I could do that, just not care about what those around thought of me. For it to just be me, the music, and my God.

Well it happened. I’m not really sure how (except by God), but I realized it last week, and so be warned anyone who’s with or around me from now on out. It was pretty awesome hands in the air, dancing as Big Daddy Weave sung Fields of Grace to a sold out crowd, not that I cared at all about the crowd being there. 

And even as I think about this boldness, I realize it’s been in the making. It didn’t just happen, and I realize others have seen it long before I recognized it. The World would try to say that this boldness or confidence came from the weight loss, that losing 50 pounds in 13 months has given the confidence that I have that I can do and be, etc. But I know better. It is all from God!!!

He is molding me, shaping me, chiseling me into who He wants me to be. He’s chipping away the insecurities finding again what He put there and I’ve covered with junk of the world.

And as a reminder to anyone and everyone who reads Just Got 2 Tell, God wants to do the same with you.